True Stories Of A Schizophrenic Megalomaniac...

"I was born in a poor family.

We didn't have money so I sold tea at Railway Station.

I took pictures of myself in suit and tie as a kid.

I was a scout/cadet and wanted to join the army. But I think Traders are more courageous than soldiers.

I begged for food for 35 years.

I went to Himalayas for a long time.

I went to jungle alone for 5 days every year.

I once took a crocodile home but my Mom told me to put it back in the lake with the crocodile's mommy.

I love my mom, but I didn't want to stay with her. Now I take pics with her during elections and make her stand in ATM queues

I did my BA and MA, not sure of SSC HSC.

I went to US and clicked pics outside Hollywood's Universal Studios

I stole mangoes from the garden because I didn't have money to buy them.

I left my wife for the nation. I now accept her on my affidavit for the nation.

I was too poor to buy food but had enough money to go to US and everywhere else.

I washed my own clothes but I invited my washerman on the Dias to felicitate him.

I cut off sleeves of my long sleeved Kurta but never thought of buying short sleeve Kurta instead.

I wore Rs. 10 lakh suits and now change my clothes thrice every day.

When soldiers die in terrorist attacks I give photo Ops for a week since then.

I love myself so much that I refer to myself in Third Person all the time.

If you don't like me...... I will come and get you"

------ True Stories Of A Schizophrenic Megalomaniac

Disclaimer: This post bears no resemblance to any person living or dead or half dead or anyone who claims to have a degree in Entire Political Science.

By Darshan Mondkar